It could be for various reasons: the connection is only physical or sexual, it feels superficial, or you don't see a future with that person. A good relationship should enhance your life quality and make it better, even if there are obvious issues to work through.Ī 20% relationship is one where you are only satisfied for that amount of time. There is a clear distinction between being realistic and settling down with someone you know isn't right for you. However, this does not mean settling for less than what we deserve. We can be in a great relationship most of the time and let the odd irritations and annoyances slide. The 80/20 principle is about remembering that the search for a perfect relationship will only feed perpetual unhappiness and discontent. It requires a very high level of trust where agendas are agreed upon and boundaries are set. Still, if an open relationship is ever to work, it needs to be discussed transparently and honestly. Some people use that 20% of allocated personal time to be intimate with other people.
THE 80 20 PRINCIPLE HOW TO
Plenty of couples are so engrossed in spending time with each other that they forget how to be apart and lose sight of their unique dreams and goals. Pursuing and engaging in independent activities that are fulfilling and enjoyable can work especially well in long-term relationships.
It emphasizes the importance of spending time by yourself, which is just as important as devoting time to a partner. Rather than seeking the ideal relationship, using this rule gives us permission to embrace the imperfections of relationships and accept our partners as they are. This is why the 80/20 principle can apply remarkably well to dating and help us approach to love and people with a sense of balance. And even if a person is as perfect as they can humanly be, there will always still be some dissatisfaction in the relationship simply because it is human nature to detect flaws in other people constantly. Our unattainable physical, mental, and spiritual standards are something we cannot live up to ourselves, let alone another human being. A romantic relationship may be one bridge to the path of happiness, but it is not the only one. No person or relationship is perfect, and none can provide 100% of your happiness because none were designed to. However, this ideal is unrealistic and, daydreamlike. Many of us have fantasies of the "perfect" partner: we want them to be hardworking, intelligent, good-looking, romantic, and emotionally available, in addition to being our soul mate, best friend, and romantic partner, all rolled into one. Lowering your expectations for 20% of the relationship will create enough flexibility to allow a relationship to continue and grow." The key to a healthy relationship is to raise your standards and lower your expectations. Sloan Sheridan Williams, a life coach, and relationship expert, says, "Anything that encourages balance in a relationship is always a positive step forward.
But why 80/20 and not 90/10? Simply put, any more than 80% may put too much pressure on the relationship. Even though most of their time will be spent nurturing the relationship, 20% of it can be used to engage in self-exploration and self-fulfilling hobbies, such as traveling, reading, and going to the gym. This theory also supports the idea that if people feel like something is missing in the relationship, they can take some time to be independent and do things that interest them outside of that person. After all, it is impossible and unrealistic to find a person or a relationship that is perfect all the time. The 80/20 rule states that if a relationship is great 80% of the time, the rest can be less than ideal. Now, people are applying this golden rule to their relationships and dating life, using it to accept flaws in their significant other or spend some quality time alone. It is about your attitude and how you respond to these '20% issues' that will determine how miserable you make yourself feel. In a more philosophical sense, the 80/20 theory implies that there will always be things in your life that are not going right if your car has broken down, the next problem will be your pet getting sick. The key to being more efficient, says The Pareto Principle, is to drop or delegate the least important work for the most results-bearing. This rule has also been applied to business to increase productivity, rather than to idle on low importance (the 80%), focus on the most valuable areas (the 20%).
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